In today’s fast-paced world, managing emotions can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s an online argument, a passive-aggressive text, or the constant comparison trap on social media, staying in control of your emotions is essential for well-being and relationships.
But emotional control isn’t about suppression, it’s about understanding and managing your reactions.
Why We Lose Control
When overwhelmed by emotions like anger or frustration, it’s often the amygdala (the brain’s emotional center) taking over. This part of the brain triggers a survival response, but it’s less useful when you’re dealing with everyday stress. The key is training the prefrontal cortex (the rational part of your brain) to step in before emotions take over.
The 90-Second Rule
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s “90-second rule” explains that emotions last only 90 seconds in the brain. After that, your emotional response is a choice. So, next time you feel a surge of anger or frustration, take a 90-second pause before reacting. This gives you time to regain control and avoid impulsive decisions.
Label Your Emotions
Labeling your emotions—naming what you’re feeling—can help reduce their intensity. Studies show that identifying emotions shifts control from the amygdala to the prefrontal cortex, allowing clearer thinking. For example, saying, “I’m frustrated by this comment,” helps you manage your emotional response.
Exercise Your Emotions Away
Physical activity, like walking or working out, releases endorphins that reduce stress and improve mood. Celebrities like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson use fitness to manage their emotions. Next time you’re overwhelmed, take a walk or do something physical to reset.
Social Media Stress: Curate Your Feed
Social media can be a major emotional trigger. To regain control, curate your feed by unfollowing accounts that make you feel bad, and follow those that inspire you. Taking social media breaks can also help you reset emotionally, as Ariana Huffington suggests, “Disconnecting from the digital world can help us reconnect with the real world.”
Take Control
Emotional control isn’t about suppressing your feelings; it’s about choosing how to respond. Use tools like the 90-second rule, labeling your emotions, exercise, and social media curation to manage your reactions in a way that benefits your well-being.
As Buddha said, “When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.” The power to control your emotions is in your hands, use it wisely.
